Sometimes, I am old, sometimes I am young. Sometimes I was just born yesterday and others, I am dying tomorrow.
Growing up is weird, and today, I am old.
Every now and then i encounter something that my mind has always told me was a "grownup thing" and I realize that I have to come to terms with something...I am a grownup. I was at my old high school this week, proctoring for end of grade tests. Somewhere in the past year, between writing 12 page papers and staying up all night to watch the sunrise, I have become and adult. To the outside world at least.
Cause then, sometimes I find myself doing something I though I had grown out of, and I realize...I am still a kid. I find myself getting angry at the stupid petty taunts my sister throws at me, or grounded for not cleaning my room again, and just like that, I am back in high school.
I'm not sure I will ever come to terms with "growing up"...all the things that growing up entails have been happening to me, and yet, I still don't feel like any of them are actually bridging my gap between childhood and adulthood.
One of my best friends said the other day:
"What confuses me is how I can feel so much older that I was last year, and yet so very young and foolish at the same time. I mean, how much more will i know 5 years from now? Makes me wonder if there is such a thing as a "mature adult", cause while I've certainly matured and learned and changed over the years, I'm still me. There are things about me that won't change...some good, some bad. It's crazy. You always thing you're going to be a "grownup", and then you grow up and realize everyone is still waiting to be a "grownup"."
And this is brilliantly, shockingly true. I'm not sure I will ever be done waiting to a grownup.
so, though I am no younger than 87 years old right now, I am still a child. I am still learning, still growing, always healing. And for the most part, I am loving living it all.
Welcome to my adventure.
